Underground in Scotland

We are staying at the University of Edinburgh. More specifically, we are snuggled into the very modern Pollack Hall with its sliding doors, key card entries and all-you-can-eat buffet breakfast and dinner. We are a long way from Oxford.  I can fit in my shower and, once I figured out how the super modern taps worked, I had excellent water pressure.

I am going to put it out there right now: this will be the first trip with Global Journeys in which I have gained weight. The thing is, these damn residences are always buffet and consisting of UK fare like potatos, roast beef, boiled vegetables, chips, broiled chicken, and assorted fattening deserts with words like “curd” and “pasty” and “fatty” associated them. And then it became ridiculous with six words: all-you-can-eat Yorkshire pudding. And don’t even get me started on the fact that the national motto for cooking in the UK is “When All Else Fails, Wrap It In Bacon.”

I will be lucky if they let me in the plane for the trip home. I’ll be lucky if I fit into the plane!

When I first looked at the city of Edinburgh I was struck by how stark it seemed. Solid, brown, stone buildings collected together to form a mass of dark windows, pointed roofs, and heavy architecture. There was little opulence and absolutely no sense of ostentation. I don’t believe this city can ever be accused of being a jewel, but that is okay. Once my initial impression passed I saw a comfortable, reliable and proud city that offers no artifice. It is what it is, and to be anything else would not be Edinburgh. I cannot claim that I found the city to be pretty, but she is handsome!

We took the kids on a haunted walk of the underground vaults. Built within the archways of a bridge, the original purpose of this section of the city was to create a centre of commerce protected from the elements. An underground mall, if you will. When the damp and mould prevailed after the constant flooding, this idea was eventually abandoned. Moving in after the shops all left were the most desperate and most vile people of the city. Those who not afford to live anywhere else had to find refuge in this area rife with thieves, murderers, and human traffickers. Children growing up here had to play around the drug dealers, the prostitutes, the violence and the fear. It is a dark and dreary place, to be sure. But it is also spooky! Oh yeah…and let us not forget the body snatchers!

Enter nineteen teenage girls, two teenage boys and three tired adults. What could possibly go wrong?

Our guide, who looked like Judy Dench, was an excellent storyteller. She had the kids wrapped around her finger. At one point, before entering the vaults, we were discussing the murder of a judge while huddled in one of the city’s many closes (very narrow alleyways) when someone abruptly strode into the close and startled us.  He happened to come at the most intense part of the tale. I don’t know who was more shocked, our group or this poor guy who had obviously gone out to get some milk or something.

As we walked through the cavernous depths, with its dampness and stench, I tried to keep my claustrophobia at bay. The ground was uneven and I found it difficult to walk. I had hurt my knee in London and had been working with a bit of a limp since. This slowed me down and, always being at the end of the line I began to fall a bit behind. This allowed me to see the kids as one clump, clustered together for protection and feeding each other’s fear. It was like a Most Haunted episode on steroids.

I felt it on my legs at first. A gust of wind that swept the floor around us. It scampered on the floor of the room we were in and caused the girls to lift up their feet and hop about. As the screaming began I realized that this wind did not touch the upper part of our bodies, only from the knees down to the ground. It was like an invisible wave had swept into the room. The screaming subsided and for an brief moment there was almost silence. I say almost, because it was then that we heard the voices. They echoed and ricocheted off the uneven walls and empty passageways. They were low and deep.

The girls screamed again and my colleagues and our guide tried to calm them down. As they started to settle down and walked back towards the darkness to see if I can hear the voices again. I thought I did, very faintly and far away into the darkness. I think what happened was another group had entered the vault and the wind was the result of a single door letting air in from the outside. I am pretty sure that had we not screamed like we were in a slasher movie we would have heard a number of different voices at first.

Pretty sure. In any case, the kids were having none of my theory and the mood for spooky fun was set in stone.

We learned of a spirit named “Mr. Boots” who strode about the place and made threats. He apparently didn’t like being called Mr. Boots and has been known to inform visitors aggressively that his name is actually Edward. When the tour guide told of this story, she went on to describe some of the experiences others have had and referred to him by his nickname. At this point a number of kids asked her to please call him Edward as they did not wish to upset him.

Afterwards we walked home and the kids were on a post-scare high. They were convinced that they had experienced a true haunting in the tour. Who was I to argue? They paid good money for a true haunting.

My colleague, Joe, and I took a side trip on another day to Roslyn Chapel. This is a small medieval church that had a major role in Dan Brown’s The Da Vinci Code. Part of the movie was also filmed here.

It’s very small, but the carvings are intricate and covers the entire building. No where within these walls is there a blank space.

One of the pillars, the Apprentice Piller, has an interesting story attached to it. It seems the Master asked his apprentice, as they were building the chapel, to wait for his return from a trip before working on the next column. The apprentice, with a lot of time on his hands, decides to work on the column anyways. Upon his return, the Master found the column not only completed, but extraordinarily beautiful and inspiring. Much better than the Master could ever do. The Master became angry and jealous of the genius and  skill that the apprentice demonstrate, so he killed him. The Master was tried and executed for his crime but that was not all. On the other end of the sactuary, up in opposite corners and facing the Apprentice Column are the carved renditions of the Master and the apprentice. Both are forced to look upon this column together for all eternity. The apprentice can bask in the glory of his creating forever. While the Master is forced to look upon his shame and humiliation.

This place is considered a special place for many reaons. Some think it holds, or held, the Holy Grail. Or the skull of St. Matthew or Jesus. It has  accused of being the final resting place of Mary Magdalene or another saint. Some feel that ley lines, like those found at Stonehenge, cross through this chapel bringing the earth based energy of the universe with them. Still others think it might be part of a larger complex involving a landing pad for aliens.

I just found the place to beautiful, quiet, serene and inspiring.

While I was able to see Edinburgh a bit more, including the castle, I have to admit it was a brief stop. I will have to return here again in order to truly understand the Scotland.